I’m back! The Good Doctor and I had a fantastic time on our trip to Azerbaijan, Georgia and Armenia (plenty of pics here!), though the experience of missing two weeks of college football was so positively traumatic that I have already informed her that we will NEVER undertake such a ridiculous adventure again. From now on, I’m planning all of the important non-sports events of my life so that they fall between mid-April (after March Madness) and early August (before the start of fall camp). As much as I love baseball and my Mets, if there’s any season you can easily miss two weeks of without too much pain, it’s baseball. Knowing that there was college football being played while I was away absolutely added a level of stress to the trip that I could have done without. Plus, the constant need to check in on the sport of my heart kept me from full immersing in the travel experience, as my mind was always at least 10% focused on regular life back home. Never again. I’ve learned my lesson.
I’d also like to send a special shout-out to my cousin, Michael Lyons, who fell all kinds of scary ill about 3 weeks ago and required emergency hospitalization while I was gone. It might amaze you to hear this, but almost losing my cousin was even more stressful that missing two weeks of college football. I’m so happy you’re doing better, Michael. Make sure to take it easy and remember to thank your sister Jennifer on a daily basis. Her touching emails absolutely sustained me and countless others as we awaited news of your condition. It’s great to have you back amongst the conscious and healthy, dude.
Lsu @ AUBURN -6
It sure is nice for the rest of the world to have finally caught up with the VCL in recognizing that Les Miles is the luckiest human being in America. The litany of his of inconceivable, ass-backward successes would make Cozmo Kramer jealous. It’s made LSU the most baffling team to watch for years and the most destructive team to gamble on in all of sports. I’ve had a “NO LUCKY LES” gambling rule in place for the last 2 years and it has saved me untolds amount of suffering, not to mention financial loses. Add to that my semi-permanent ban on gambling on Auburn games and you’d think I wouldn’t be going anywhere near this one. You’d be wrong. No true gambler can possibly resist the allure of picking against Miles at some point this season. Even for him, this year has been a hilarious parade of undeserved success. The bottom has to drop at some point. It just HAS to. Why not on the road against the only undefeated team left on their schedule? Why not against the first decent offense their #1 ranked defense has faced all year? That’s right folks, I’m diving in on this one. It’s always such an exhilarating experience to gamble against Les Miles. I couldn’t possibly resist for this entire season.
Uab @ Mississippi State -20
Two schools of thought on this one:
(1) We have a good SEC team at home against a C-USA team that is 0-3 on the road, losing by an average of 20 points to much lesser competition than they face this week (SMU, UCF and, um, UT). State is coming off their biggest win in years and should be brimming with confidence and enthusiasm. Plus, they should know that if they want to make it into the upper echelon of the SEC, they absolutely must start blowing out teams like UAB at home. That’s what the top teams do - get an early lead, extend it by halftime and then spend the rest of the game working on your weak spots and resting your starters. That’s how you stay healthy and build depth - two keys to surviving the SEC gauntlet.
(2) State is coming off their biggest win in years, all right, but they did so with a wretched offense and a good defense - hardly a solid plan for covering a 3 TD spread. You’ve also got to consider the very real possibility of a major letdown game for the Bulldogs here. Plus, the last time the Blazers played at an SEC school, they almost pulled off the upset against the Vols.
Me? I’m gambling on the former scenario. I expect UAB to be fully prepared to lay down as soon as the going gets rough - something they did not do against UT - since they’re now over halfway into what will probably be another losing season. Also, it was just a few weeks ago that State covered a 20 point spread against what most people consider a superior C-USA team, Houston. I think they’ll do it again.
NYC Spot of the Week
I’m changing the name of this segment to allow me to discuss spots in the city that I love that may not qualify as restaurants, per se. This week’s entry, for example, is not so much a restaurant as it is a Japanese grocery store that serves fantastic noodle soups, katsu don and other Japanese lunch fare for about an hour and a half every weekday. It’s called Yagura Japanese Market (http://www.yelp.com/biz/yagura-japanese-market-new-york) and it’s right by the main NY Public Library at 24 E. 41st St. I used to work at a truly terrible job just a few blocks from there and many were the days that I found comfort in a bowl of chicken udon that I would hover over protectively on my lunch break, trying to restore at least a bit of my soul (which, between my awful job and the fact that the Sex and the City movie was being filmed right next to my office for what seemed like 18 months, was being crushed with regularity at that time). So, if your in midtown Manhattan someday and your looking for an affordable, healthy and quality lunch option (no easy task), make sure to hit this spot.
Alabama @ Tennessee +16.5
My least favorite game of the day. Bama’s offense seems to be mired in a major funk lately. Somehow, it’s taken over a season and a half for teams to learn that the only real plan of attack against the Tide is to absolutely sell out to stop the rushing attack and just pray McElroy has an off-day. From a talent perspective, I think it’s pretty plain to see that, under regular circumstances, the Vols wouldn’t have the horses to succeed against the Tide, even using the plan outlined above. Why take them, then? It’s all about mindset and motivation. I’m betting that Tennessee is at a point where they realize they’re not very good and that they don’t have much chance at anything other than a .500 finish. That sounds demoralizing, but it can also be quite liberating - accept the facts and try to make the best of a bad situation. In short, the Vols could play as a team with nothing to lose. This game against the Tide in Knoxville has now become their Super Bowl. I think that will be enough to keep it close.
SOUTH CAROLINA -13 @ Vanderbilt
This is one of those rare lines that sends me scurrying to my SEC news sources to see what I am missing. Good thing too, because I had no idea that Marcus Lattimore is not expected to play this week. Still, that’s reason to drive this spread down from 28 to 20, not all the way down to 13. I know reading too much into the most recent results is a classic gambler’s mistake, but, come on, Vandy was CRUSHED by a 3-3 Georgia team just last weekend! How does even a Lattimore-less Gamecock team get less credit than Georgia? If they played in a vacuum, Carolina would have to be a 20-point favorite. This game will not be played in a vacuum (though Vanderbilt Stadium is a awfully close alternative). This game has the added potential for SC to be angry and bent on avenging last week’s crushing loss to Kentucky. I cannot think of a single rationale for taking the Dores in this one. This is easily my favorite line of the week.
Georgia @ KENTUCKY +4
Quick, give me one reason Georgia is better than Kentucky. Seriously, fill in the blank: Kentucky has shown some promise this year, but I doubt they can overcome Georgia’s overwhelming advantage in/at _______________________. Got nothing? Me either. Exactly how Georgia finds themselves as a road favorite here has to be a mystery even to them. My only guess is that Vegas believes in the “Big Win Hangover” effect much more than I ever suspected, which would explain this and the Mississippi State lines. It makes more sense to me in the State game. They just enjoyed a huge win on the road and are returning home to face an opponent they could not possibly care less about. Plus, they have to cover a 3 TD spread. Here, you have a talented Kentucky team GETTING points at home after a big win, but their opponent is infinitely more interesting than UAB. It’s Georgia - one of the SEC East bullies who has been dominating Kentucky for decades and who is showing real signs of weakness. I’m going to gamble that last week’s win only stirred up with UK team. I’m going to gamble that Randall Cobb’s controversial public relations gambit turns this game’s crowd into the best Lexington has seen in years. I’m taking the home dog with a chip on its shoulder. All sins of the past are forgiven, UK. I’m backing you all the way in this one.
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